Have I done enough?
Apologies for the delayed blog post. Life has been a whirlwind between reconstructing my home from the fire damage, doctors appointments for my pregnancy, keeping up with my full time job, and finalizing details for my book to be published. I truly know everything is coming together because of God’s grace.
BUT I would be lying if I didn’t say that every day hasn’t been easy and my confidence hasn’t wavered.
As I shared in my last blog, my goal for this year is to truly align my plans with the plans God has for me. In doing that, I have been asking Him every morning what He needs me to accomplish during that day. Whether it be for my corporate job, my book or blog, for the house, within my relationship, or another task.
After I complete my prayer time, I listen to what I feel He is dropping in my mind for the next 10 minutes and I write them down immediately as they come to me. These tasks include things for my main job, things for my book, and even personal things like going to see my pets who are currently staying with my parents or getting a yoga session in. Anything He needs me to accomplish.
This has helped to quiet the noise in my head throughout the day and truly focus on my tasks at hand which can be difficult with everything going on around me. I have received some tasks that are manageable and some that are challenging. To my surprise, most days I am able to complete all of the tasks I feel He has assigned to me.
Which differs from the days that I had assigned my own tasks in the past. In the past when I have created a list of tasks to complete in a day, they never got completed. I always had one or more tasks left unchecked.
However, instead of feeling a sense of accomplishment after I completed the list God has handed me, I find myself with a sense of anxiousness at the end of the day. Like I have not done all that I should have done that day. I wonder if I have truly accomplished all that I could or if I missed something I needed to complete.
Am I alone?
This anxiety for not doing enough is not anything new. I have always been an overachiever which is honestly one of my biggest downfalls. There have been many days where I have felt that I have not done enough, personally and professionally. Even if I had accomplished everything that I had set out to achieve in that day.
I am grateful that now there has been a shift in my life to help get me through these moments. That shift is the knowledge that I do not have to battle this sense of anxiety alone.
Instead of sitting in the anxiousness or turning to a glass of wine (which I can’t do anyway now since I’m pregnant, haha), I now sit down and ask God if there is anything else I need to accomplish today. I will also open up one of my Bible plans and read outloud so the baby can also receive the message. Once I finish my time in the Bible and sharing my concerns with the Lord, I will do something active whether that be go for a walk or do some yoga. Something to clear my mind while allowing space for more feedback.
Sometimes after this action I will have another task dropped on me that I am meant to do, but many times I just feel a sense of peace that the day was a success and there is more that I can accomplish tomorrow.
One day when I was battling with my worries, I expressed my concerns to my boyfriend and he reminded me that I cannot have faith in God and be worried. With that reminder I turned to my Bible plan and found this verse.
“The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”
Matthew 13:22-23 NIV
I love when verses appear when you are meant to hear them. This is a great reminder that listening to the word of God while also having fear never will work. It is important to listen and continue to have faith that it will all work out the way it is meant to be. A great reminder for myself in overwhelming moments.
How have you worked through anxious moments at the end of the day?
